


Mother knows best...or maybe not, please not the weasels again mom!

by nbmontclair



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, Hera's Hero Training, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Non-binary character, Original Character(s), Trans Character, which is bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29851398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nbmontclair/pseuds/nbmontclair
Summary: Hera spent the years after Beryl Grace drinking, training heroes, drinking some more, and terrified that she was going to end up hanging by her toes over Tartarus again.Ash spent the years after they ran away hating their mother, absolutely loathing her, not hating her, getting beat up by Amazons, and praying to any god but Zeus they didn’t get smitted into a million molecules.
Relationships: Hera/Other, Hera/Zeus (Percy Jackson), Zeus/Ms. Grace (past)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	1. Table of Contents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not all these chapters are written. I have the general outline of the story and I will sporadically update if I decide to completely write this thing.

Chapter 1: Hera, Goddess of Hypocrisy - Posted

Chapter 2: Arete vs The Babysitter and Also The Fire Lady is Here - Posted

Chapter 3: Hera's Hero Training Camp for Demigod Toddlers (Sharps Mandatory!) - WIP

Chapter 4: Arete and The Reason Mom is Unforgivable

Chapter 5: Hera Loses The Golden Peacock...and Finds A Phoenix

Chapter 6: Ash vs Arete, The Maze, and Mom

Chapter 7: Hera and The Ending of The World (AKA Hera Actually Likes a Demigod)

Chapter 8: Ash and The Amazons

Chapter 9: Juno's Legionnaire Boot Camp

Chapter 10: Ash Makes A Best Friend, Tries (and Fails) Not To Blow Their Cover, and Also Fights A War

Chapter 11: Hera/Juno The Giant Energizer GoddessTM

Chapter 12: Ash is Never Doing A Quest For Mom Again

Chapter 13: Hera/Juno Has A Migraine and Gets A Roommate

Chapter 14: Ash's List of Ways To Get Your Annoying Immortal Mom To Leave

Chapter 15: Hera Faces Consequences

Chapter 16: Ash is So Dead

Epilogue


	2. Table of Contents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hera hates alcohol and her husband so so much. 
> 
> Definitely hates the husband more, although alcohol is a close second.

Hera is still utterly seething about the existence of one Thalia Grace six years later when she spots abnormal storm clouds over Hollywood for the second time in under a decade.

He went back to her. HER.

No doubt she’ll be pregnant within the year. Again.

Hera is not going to yell at him. Hera is so happy she is immortal and can grind her teeth into oblivion without consequences.

He’s never gone back to the same one before though.

A new demigod bastard normally warrants a raid of Zeus’ private stash of sacrificial wine and devious plotting on how to ruin said demigod’s life and their mother’s, but Hera deems this situation desperate enough to snag the last bottle of Dionysus’ Ambrosia-Whiskey (Zeus’ favorite) and settle down on her couch with a notepad and peacock green pen to brainstorm.

Six drinks and several pages covered with green handwriting that would make a non-dyslexic’s person’s head spin, she has an idea. It’s really really stupid, but she’s six (make that seven) drinks in now and has always been a little bit curious about what is soooo great about mortal women that makes her brothers and the rest of the male members of her family abandon their morals and common sense (they never had any to begin with, she thinks) and chase after them like heartsick loons. 

So, now on drink number eight, she changes her form to appear like her husband’s and zips down to the high-end bar she’s seen from across the street from where she and Hebe get tea in Manhattan every month and discuss the lack of Heracles in their lives (he will always be Heracles to her). 

It’s all a blur for her from here, but she remembers a woman who might have been a divorce lawyer or a CFO with tan skin, soft brown eyes, and auburn hair whispering to her in the bitter tones of someone who’s recently been wronged about a cheating husband and dreams of becoming a chef. Hera’s not sure what exactly makes her follow the woman, Maria is her name, back to her hotel suite (alcohol, curiosity, and a deeply hidden desire to feel something other than rage or bitterness), but she does. 

She wakes the next morning, still in Zeus’ bulky form, sprawled naked in a bed with silk sheets and Maria, also naked, draped over her. 

Fuck.

Hera shifts back to into her own body and runs. She throws that horrid, mortifying night into a lockbox, drops the key into a volcano, and yeets the box into Tartarus (metaphorically speaking).

She returns to Olympus as if nothing has happened and scowls and stews at Zeus’ infidelity, takes tea with Hebe, and snaps at Ares to stop messing the mortals so much (war breaks up marriages and keeps proper children from being born). 

* * *

The only thing that really surprises her is that Beryl Grace is not dating Zeus, but Jupiter. Hera - head splitting pain - Juno is appropriately furious and demands the demigod to be to become her champion, that Jupiter give him up to her. He agrees, as is proper.

Hera does not think of that...incident again until she’s sitting with Hebe having their monthly tea and a woman walks by the window near their table. It’s more accurate to say she waddles because of her eight-month pregnant belly. 

Hera watches Maria pass with all the detachment of a frozen bystander watching a train crash in slow motion, which is to say externally her face was carved out of marble and internally she was having a tiny panic attack (because she cannot have a breakdown in front of her _and_ Zeus’ daughter so she stuffs the panic down as much as she can and decides to open that box later).

Tea time ends and Hera says the polite good-byes to Hebe, flies to her apartment, opens the box of panic, and promptly explodes. 

She is going to have a...nope don’t think about it. She is the goddess of marriage and she is going to...stuff the panic back in the box. 

Hera reassembles her living room, hoping no one heard her little freak-out, and ignores Maria for the next month (except to send a dream to Maria with the baby’s name - Arete).

She cannot kill the child, it is too late. The child is family, and she is Hera, goddess of the family, so she must protect the child. 

* * *

It is during the Summer Solstice meeting and Athena and Poseidon are really getting into it when she feels it. The addition of a member to her family always makes Hera feel like she’s a bell that’s just been wrung. None of the noise, but the tuning of a new presence to hers, a new voice in the chorus of power that is her family. 

Hera leaves Olympus in the late evening as she follows the ringing. Landing in a darkened nursery, the baby in the crib is bright to her immortal senses. She walks silently across the room and peers in, only to rear back in shock. 

Gold eyes, the same color as _his_ , stare back at her. The baby has a tuft of black-brown hair that will surely gain the golden red strands of it's mother with age.

She is sure this child has an important role to play, she can see that much. There will definitely need to be training. She will come back, but for now, she wraps the infant in the Mist so tightly not even Hecate could tell it’s there and makes the child look like Hebe’s (they’re similar enough it should work to hide her scent but there’s no way to completely hide the scent of a demigod)

Zeus can never ever know. He would not hesitate to kill the child and perhaps Hera too. She does not want to find out.

Hera dissolves into light and diffuses into the stars, leaving the only demigod child of Hera to stare unknowingly at her leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-shot that might turn into an actual story if I procrastinate my homework enough. This is my first foray into fiction, so R&R please & thank you!


	3. Chapter 2: Arete vs The Babysitter and Also The Fire Lady is Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arete thinks the Fire Lady is the best storyteller ever.
> 
> The Babysitter is the worst PE coach ever and possibly a monster that crawled out from under Arete's bed.

Arete first meets the lady in the fire when they try to touch the glowy things in the fireplace Mother makes appear with a switch (just like the lights!) and the moving colors stare back with eyes in a face that definitely wasn’t there before Arete decided to poke it. 

Arete stares at the Fire Lady. 

The Fire Lady smiles back at them. 

Arete decides to poke the fire again, but the Fire Lady gently pushes them back onto their blanket. 

Arete wails at being denied to touch the glowing colors, but then the Fire Lady starts to speak in heavy, warm tones of a titan, of a gift of fire, and of hearths. Arete feels very sleepy and cozy next to the fire, and the last thing they hear is a soft voice whispering to them in words they do not know.

The Fire Lady becomes Arete’s favorite person when Mother isn’t here. She tells them about the king and his queen, the soldier, the maker, the warrior, the trickster, the healer, the huntress, and so many others. She tells Arete that they must remember these stories. Arete doesn’t know why and doesn’t care, and just promises to remember as long as they can hear the story of the soldier who was stuck in the jar again. 

When Arete is five, the Fire Lady starts to teach them Ancient Greek and gives the story people names: Zeus, Hera, Ares, Hephaestus, Athena, Hermes, Apollo, and Artemis. She tells Arete to never say these names out loud, because if they do, the monsters will get them. 

Arete doesn’t believe her until they tell Max that the Furies are coming for him for stealing cookies from Ella every day at lunch. 

Later, a black dog the size of a truck tries to eat them while Arete is walking home from school. Arete runs so fast that day trying to lose the dog, who disappears once Arete makes it inside their house.

No one else seemed to see the massive dog with red eyes that haunted them for several months. It seems only Arete (and the Fire Lady) can see the monsters.

* * *

Arete first meets the Babysitter, also called Helen by Mother, when they are three. The Babysitter is wrapped in black clothes and a hood, and her cold brown eyes make them think that she will be no fun at all.

Arete has no idea how right they are.

Helen is quite possibly the strangest and scariest person that Arete has ever met. 

Arete immediately knows that the Fire Lady and the Babysitter should not ever under any circumstances know of each other’s existence, much less meet. If those two ever do, Arete does not want to even be on the same block. 

That first time she watches Arete, she makes them run in circles around the garden hedges until their short legs feel like they are on fire. Arete cries at the pain and tells Helen that it hurts, but she tells them the pain is only temporary and that they will need practice enduring pain (Arete tells Mother about what the Babysitter said after she leaves, but Mother says they are exaggerating and to shut up and put on the pink dress).

It sets the tone for Helen’s future visits. Arete comes to think of them as extreme P.E. sessions and considers that it may say death-by-Babysitter on their gravestone.

Her favorite exercises to give them include the aforementioned running, climbing trees, and more running (oh joy!) over large rocks (Arete has no idea where Helen got boulders as tall as her, much less the permission to put them in Mother’s carefully landscaped garden).

Helen starts speaking to Arete in a language they don’t know when Arete is four. They tell her they can’t understand and she snaps that Arete must figure it out in English, then resumes speaking in gibberish (it is only when the Fire Lady starts to teach Arete Ancient Greek that they realize it is the language Helen was speaking).

When Arete is running from the big black dog, they are almost thankful to Helen for the circles in the garden (almost).

When Arete is six, she gives them knives to throw at a tree. Then Helen tells them to go get the knives from the tree (most of the knives have fallen short of the tree) and give them to her. She tells Arete to go stand in front of that same tree and to not let any of the knives touch them. Arete is confused for a moment, because how can the knives touch them if Helen has them, only to remember that knives can be thrown because that was what Arete was just doing. 

The first knife carves a slice out of their upper right arm and provides sufficient motivation for Arete to learn yoga in order to gain the flexibility to dodge the Babysitter’s throws, which seem to grow faster with each one. 

From the stories Arete hears at school, they know Helen’s behavior does not remotely resemble that of a normal babysitter. After telling Mother about that first time and unsuccessfully pleading with her to find a new babysitter, Arete tries twice more before giving up and suffers in silence. 

They learn early that adults do not listen to them. 

* * *

Arete’s teachers always peg them as the rich child who is spoiled and must be taught the world will not be given to them on a silver spoon. 

It is not Arete’s fault that the words swim off the page and that it takes Arete an additional year to learn to read English (the Fire Lady’s lessons in Ancient Greek are so much easier on their eyes). 

It is not Arete’s fault that they have so much energy they cannot sit still and fidget with (and break) every pen, pencil, and eraser in sight.

Arete does not like adults: Mother ignores them and alternatively makes sure Arete is always wearing a dress, the Babysitter works them to death (at least she lets them wear pants), and the teachers prefer to have their uncontrollable butt in time-out so they can teach the rest of the still, good, little girls and boys.

Other children seem alien and unapproachable to Arete. They are always speaking a language of sound and body movements that Arete doesn’t know. The fact Arete is a troublemaker does not make them want to approach Arete.

* * *

Arete continues to listen to the stories and lessons of the Fire Lady, whom they now call Pyrrha. It’s the name the Fire Lady gives them after Arete finally asks her name when they turn ten. The fact Arete hasn’t asked her name before this (and that Pyrrha hasn’t given it) disturbs them greatly (like they actually bang their head on their desk when they realize this because they have been so ignorant and stupid all this time). That conclusion and the fact Pyrrha is derived from the Ancient Greek word for fire makes them think it is not her real name.

Helen continues to train (aka torture) Arete with running, knives, climbing, and staff practice. They enjoy working with a staff because it’s the only thing they do with her where Arete can actually hit Helen.

Arete still doesn’t understand why all this has to happen to them.

Why the Babysitter has to impale their wrist to a tree and the Fire Lady makes them listen to the story of Minos, interesting though it may be.

It makes them want to scream and pin both Pyrrha and Helen to trees with knives until Arete is able to wring answers from them.

Somehow, Arete doesn’t think they will ever be able to pin either of their mentors down with words or weapons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this is no longer a one-shot and I'm walking on an unknown path. Yippee! Please R&R and thank you!


End file.
